Change

I really need to do better at updating my blog.

So much has happened in the last 15 months. (I can't believe its been 15 months already.) From our wedding day to now, we've had our ups and downs. (Frankly, for most of it, its been more downs than ups.) We had that 3 month separation, which really gave me a wake up call. I suffer from PTSD, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, High-Functioning Autism, and severe abandonment issues, and for the first 11 months of our marriage, I let those unfortunate diagnoses effect how I treated my husband and my step kids. One brutal day in early October, my husband told me over the phone (as we were still 850 miles apart) that I needed to make a lot of changes in my behavior if I wanted to remain his wife. Right then and there, I committed to be a better wife, confidant, companion, mother and friend. I love my husband, and I was darned if I was going to let him slip away. Now, nearly 4 months later, our arguments are less and less, our understanding is greater, and our love is stronger than I ever thought imaginable. Yes, we still have disagreements. Every NORMAL couple does. But its no longer at the point where we don't want to even be around each other. In fact, quite the opposite. We hate being apart.

The children have undergone some changes as well. Skyler is turning into quite the remarkable young man. He's really maturing, and I think some of it has to do with the changes in my behavior towards him. He's becoming more responsible. He began to participate in band, selecting the baritone as his instrument, and he will go to his room on his own without any prompting, and he will practice his instrument for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. How many kids do we know that WANT to practice ANYTHING?

Mikaela participated in soccer in the fall. I missed every single game because I was stuck in Utah on bed rest, but I'm so proud of her. She also decided she wanted to join her school choir. She has been having a lot of fun with her extracurricular activities. In December, she was baptized, and I had the honor of helping to dry her off and getting her dressed. I'm so proud of the young woman she is becoming.

Carsten is learning more every day, and growing up way too fast. He can carry on a complete conversation with people, and 97% of the time he's completely understandable. He's also learning to go potty in the big boy potty and often goes an entire day without an accident. He's such a smart little cookie.

All of our kids look forward to our Aria coming into this screwy world. As are Justin and myself.

With that I will end this entry, seeing as how its 3am.